


Or Whatever Parenting Books Might Say

by Dredfulhapiness



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Iron Dad, but also Peter was picked up by Tony, i guess, it's after civil war but the fight didn't happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:09:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23420719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dredfulhapiness/pseuds/Dredfulhapiness
Summary: “You’re sick,” Tony said matter-of-factly.“No I’m not,” Peter argued. He clamped his mouth shut, his face turning red. Tony let him sit like that for a few seconds before,“You’re trying not to cough right now.”
Comments: 16
Kudos: 170
Collections: Peter Parker's Tales





	Or Whatever Parenting Books Might Say

**Author's Note:**

> This was requested by @tig-olbiddies on Tumblr! the prompt was "Peter meeting the Avengers accidentally because Tony had to watch him while he was sick."

All it took was for Tony to take one look at Peter over the top of his tablet to say, “You’re not going out like that.” 

The teen looked peakish. Clammy. There were dark circles under the hollow of his eyes.

“What?” Peter’s voice was raspy, but he sounded genuinely shocked. “Why not?” 

“You’re sick,” Tony said matter-of-factly. 

“No I’m not,” Peter argued. He clamped his mouth shut, his face turning red. Tony let him sit like that for a few seconds before,

“You’re trying not to cough right now.” 

“I’m not--” Peter launched into a coughing fit. His cheeks grew red. Tony took another bite of his bagel, watching him skeptically. “I’m just thirsty,” he managed when he finally recovered. 

“You’re sick. You’re not patrolling like that”

“It’s just a cold.”

“You’re staying in.” 

Peter crossed his arms over his chest.  _ Pouted.  _ Reminded Tony that he was talking to a child and that was why he was making this call in the first place. Teach them self care early and all that shit. He’d hoped that just giving him a nice bed to stay in when they’d stayed up too late working on his web formula was enough. Apparently not. Kids-- they have to learn constant lessons.

“I feel fine,” Peter lied. Or, maybe he didn’t lie. Either way, he  _ looked  _ horrible. He was in no shape to be out trolling the streets. 

“Tell you what, kid.” Tony put his coffee down on the table. “You can stay in and help me work on my new suit.”

“I--” Peter started, his face already lit up.

“But you have to stay at least five feet away from me. You get sick and maybe someone gets mugged. I get sick and Earth could be overrun by aliens. Got it?” 

Peter mumbled something under his breath, rubbed at the back of his neck. 

“What was that?”

“I could fight aliens, too,” Peter repeated pathetically. 

“Don’t push it,” Tony warned. “And get your homework done first-- or May will kick my ass.”

\--

Tony had (purposefully) failed to mention that he had a meeting later that morning. It had been too early to start the argument about how Peter was totally old enough to sit in on Avengers meetings and actually he  _ should  _ be there because he defends New York too and no he  _ isn’t  _ just a kid and could Tony  _ please  _ take the training wheel protocols off his suit. 

So really, if you squint, it was his own damn fault that Peter wandered into the conference room while Banner was in the middle of some genetic, medical jargon about Steve’s mega healing. 

The door opened and they all whipped their heads around, alert. Their shock was directed at an unassuming teenager. Peter froze in the doorway, one hand gripping his backpack. 

“Uh,” he said, eyes wide, stiff like a deer in the headlights. Tony could see him taking in the company. He coughed into his elbow. “S-Sorry I was just trying to… to find somewhere to do my homework. I didn’t realize anyone was in here or I wouldn’t have, uh, just walked in. I’ll-- uh-- I’ll get out of your hair now.” His gaze jumped from Steve, to Bruce, to Tony. He backed up. 

Tony grit his teeth. Thought about the kid’s dedication to protecting New York and eradicating the option of the day. Looked at the others then at, “Peter, why don’t you join us?”

Peter shot Tony a look of awe mixed with panic. Steve and Bruce exchanged a glance, but didn’t argue.

“Really?” Peter asked, and perked up when Tony nodded.

“This your new PR project?” Banner asked. Steve snorted and tried to cover it up with a cough. 

“He’s the newest Stark intern,” Tony corrected dryly. “I figured he should learn what goes on around here.”

“Nice to meet you, kid. I’m Steve.” He held a hand out.

“Oh, I know who you are.” He sounded  _ giddy _ . Peter held his hands up. “I’m actually sick, you might not want to--” 

“Maybe you  _ should  _ shake his hand, Cap,” Tony said. “Let’s see if you get sick.”

“I don’t know that that’s necessary,” Peter said gently, taking a step back from Steve. 

“I’m telling you, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him  _ sneeze.  _ Whatever was in that serum--”

“We still don’t have any records of that?” Tony took a sip of his water. 

“You’ve never been sick?” Peter asked. 

“He’s got a high metabolism,” Bruce explained. 

“Or a boosted immune system,” Peter offered. “I mean, I have a—“ he broke off into a coughing fit, but Tony couldn’t tell if it was genuine or if he’d forgotten his company. Either way, he corrected himself. “They’re related but not exclusive. Someone can have a high metabolism and still get sick.” He blinked, suddenly aware that everyone was looking at him. “... doctor,” he added nervously. 

“Someone could heal fast and still get sick,” Tony translated. 

“I got that, thanks,” Steve said. 

“So test him against super healers… that’s not a bad idea, kid.” 

Peter failed to hide his glee at the praise from  _ Doctor Bruce Banner  _ and Tony barely succeeded at not rolling his eyes. It was really just to hide his pride, though. 

“Where’d you find this one, Stark?”

Tony just shrugged. “Queens, I think.” 

“Does Thor heal fast?” Bruce mused. Beside Tony, Peter pulled out his laptop.

“Is Thor even human?” Steve asked. 

“There’s always Wade,” Tony offered.

“Absolutely not,” Steve said. 

“We could put an ad out,” Bruce suggested. “Like a clinical trial.”

“Now is hardly the time people want to come forward with their powers,” Steve said, and he levelled his gaze with Tony’s. Tony pretended not to notice. “Is this really all that important?” Steve continued. “So I don’t get sick-- there’s worse things that could happen.”

“We could help  _ other  _ people not get sick,” Bruce said. “Cure cancer.” 

“What kind of tests have you run?” Peter asked, looking up from his laptop. He backtracked, “If you don’t mind my asking. It’s just that we just started covering this topic in my orgo class, and we…”

He said more-- Tony didn’t understand most of it, but Banner seemed enraptured. Mostly, Tony was focused on Peter slowly coming out of his shell. Timid, nervous replies launched into a brainstorming session: Different blood tests they could do, registered heroes they could contact. Who had super healing? Who was impenetrable? Would there still be residue of the serum in Steve’s blood or would it be long gone by now? Did it alter his DNA? Was it radioactive? What risks did it pose thirty years down the line since the ice stopped his body from aging? 

Tony felt like he was in a college lecture watching the smart kid and his professor battle it out. Steve smiled at him, tried to get his attention, tried to mouth something-- probably about having picked a good intern or whatever but Tony just glanced at his watch instead. Focused on how the kid’s voice was frying out but he was having fun. He was smart. Driven. Not for the first time, Tony thought about how much he could accomplish without the weight of being Spider-Man on his back. Not for the first time, Tony brushed that thought away. 

“What are you going to school for?” Steve asked once the conversation had simmered down and Peter had returned to sniffling and typing. 

“I’m actually still in high school,” Peter admitted. 

Tony glanced over at his computer screen. He had an essay pulled up, something about  _ The Great Gatsby _ . 

“They teach you about cellular metabolism in high school?” Bruce asked. 

Peter shrugged. “Science school,” he said, and then he started coughing again. 

\--

It wasn’t just the meeting that Tony had failed to mention, but in his defense, he had forgotten anyone else was coming over.

He actually did feel bad for Peter. Every time he tried to sneak away to get some work done he met a different Avenger. He ran back into Bruce three pages into his ten page essay, hunched in a corner in the lab. Peter slid his copy of  _ The Great Gatsby  _ under the corner of his laptop, engaged in the discussion about how long he’d been working with Stark (about a year), where he hoped to go to college (MIT), his planned major (something in engineering).

And he seemed starstruck. Despite how ragged he looked with his cold, he seemed  _ excited,  _ and this time it wasn’t about having caught The Vulture or getting a lead on a new villain and for a moment it made Tony’s heart swell with an emotion he couldn’t quite place. Pride, maybe? Guilt?

Steve asked Peter about New York. Explained that he’d been back for a few years but he kept learning about new things like the drinking age (Oh… Peter had never thought about that), all the new buildings (Had Steve heard of brutalism?), and the historically questionable new musicals on Broadway (yeah, but  _ Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812 _ is pretty good if Steve was looking for something to see).

Peter met Nat and Clint in the living room. They were standing against the wall, murmuring about something. Peter’s eyes focused on them over the top of his laptop. It took a few seconds for him to realize who he was looking at, but when he made the connection his brain went into overdrive. He felt like a fanboy.

_ Black Widow and Hawkeye.  _

Maybe it was their training. Maybe they could just see him, but both were quick to look over at him, their eyes scrunched with suspicion. They hadn’t been properly introduced Peter realized as soon as Clint opened his mouth. 

“You’re the intern, right?” 

Peter blinked. “I’m-- yeah. That’s me.” He held his hand out. “I’m Peter Parker.”

Neither of them looked impressed. Clint inquired, “Mind grabbing me a cup of coffee?”

Peter looked at him for a long moment while his brain processed the request. “Oh! Yeah, no problem. Coffee coming right up.”

He ran into Tony in the kitchen. He watched, eyebrow raised, as Peter fumbled with the coffee machine. 

“I didn’t know you drank coffee,” he mused. 

“It’s for Mr. Barton,” Peter said. “He drinks it black?” 

“You could put some salt in it.”

“I’m not going to--”

“That’ll teach him to waste my intern’s time.”

“You know what wouldn’t be wasting my time?” Peter looked at him pointedly. Tony took a sip of his own coffee.

“You look better, kid, but you’re still sick. Give it a couple days.” 

“Mr. Stark,” Peter practically begged. “I’m fine! It’s just a little bit of a cough, it’s not that big of a deal.” 

As he was speaking, Tony picked up a bagel, looked at it, then flung it at Peter’s head. It hit him square in the face. He stopped talking abruptly.

“Uh--”

“Your tingles aren’t working.”

“Please stop calling them that. They’re not--” Another bagel hit him in the face. Peter grit his teeth and nodded, annoyed. 

“How are you going to take care of New York if you aren’t taking care of yourself?” Tony crossed his arms over his chest. 

“I heard Happy ask you that last week,” Peter said. 

“Except I’m an adult.” He slid the salt shaker toward Peter. “New York will survive a couple days without you, kid. Don’t think you’re that important.” 

Peter slid the salt shaker back. He picked up the salt-free mug full of coffee. 

“Yeah, yeah,” he said. “I know.”

“How’s the coffee coming?” 

Peter jumped. Behind him, Clint had stuck his head around the corner. 

“It’s right here,” he said, voice high pitched and startled. He handed the mug over. 

“Barton,” Tony said, “Try not to misappropriate my employees.” 

“What’s the point of having interns if they aren’t making coffee runs?” 

“What’s the point of having a sniper if he’s never around?” 

Clint held his coffee up in a toast. “Touche.” 

\--

“You shouldn’t show up to work sick,” Thor told Peter right outside the bathroom, “you mortals spread disease so easily.” 

Tony, who was passing by, shrugged. “Greased Lightning’s got a point,” he said. He tried not to smirk as Peter’s jaw tensed. He failed. 

\--

It took hours, but when everyone finally left, and it was just Peter and Tony alone in the lab, Tony watched Peter let out a long breath of relief. Visibly, his shoulders dropped, the lines around his eyes disappeared. He sank into the seat. 

“Too much for ya?” 

“Huh?” Peter’s eyes shot open. He looked tired, like the cold was finally catching up to him. “No, it’s fine. It’s just--”

“Exhausting?” 

“To be three people, yeah.” Tony leaned back in his seat, took in Peter. He was sick, that was true, but he looked exhausted beyond that. He looked stretched thin. Tony couldn’t keep him from swinging around every night, could only veto patrols for instances like this, when Peter was clearly endangering himself, or he needed to learn a lesson to better himself or whatever parenting books might say. He couldn’t stop Peter from working himself to the bone with school, and Spider-Man, and keeping up appearances. 

He could see in Peter’s eyes that he’d been flattered by the small talk with Banner and Cap, but that it had been overwhelming. It was weird to have a conversation with someone he’d always admired without the context of Spider-Man behind it. That he was afraid none of his success had been from Peter Parker, but rather from a radioactive spider.

But he  _ could  _ stop unnecessary stressors. 

“You know you can be Peter Parker here, right?” 

Peter looked at him, head tilted, not quite understanding and if questioned about his earnestness later, Tony would blame what he said next on that.

“You got my attention because you’re Spider-Man, but Peter Parker is smart enough to be a Stark intern, he just never sent an application in. You don’t have to split into a third person just because you’re doing your job. Got it?” 

Peter looked almost surprised. His eyes widened, gaze softened like a puppy. “Thanks, Mr. Stark,” he said. 

“Don’t get sappy, kid. FRIDAY, open the plans for my new suit, please.” 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> No one is allowed to roast me for anything science related because I'm a communications major and the only science class I've ever gotten an A in is my college astronomy class. 
> 
> I'm currently taking fic requests on Tumblr, so if you like my writing and have a fic you've always wanted to read, feel free to let me know @dredfulhapiness ! comments and kudos are always appreciated :)


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